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from 30 AWD YEARS by Awdbawl



I’m known to be
But it’s not a psycho disease
I just feel highs overly
And my lows are deep,
A high lowlife, no between‘s
But may I please suggest you don’t believe the myths cause
Something don’t seem correct
How’s a human being deemed depressed by some shrink who says
After seeing them a single sesh
That he thinks maybe these are best
That old evil trick, take these as needed if
And while the ink is fresh you head to cvs to pay a fee per fix
But you don’t need the scripts
Use placebos perceived effect and you can ease your stress
Just repeat deep peaceful breaths
When each leaves my chest I feel relief and less freaked I guess
So I don’t seek the meds, I’m just me instead
Although I’m keen to catch a mood swing with a mean intent
A rude dream that jus came and went
It’s routine but may seem intense if you aint seen or sensed
This inhumane main event
But I’ve trained for this day in depth
I’ve obeyed the steps
I’ve sought sages and gained respect
Was taught phrases from ancient texts and retraced the steps
Through the maze my impatience left
So when I stray from that place I lift up
Embrace every day I get cause
That’s just the way life is when your brains like this ……
Like this like this like this like this
Cause I’ve tried everything I have read,
I exercise and stretch, I synchronize my breaths
I go outside for fresh air to unwind the stress
And yet inside my head, I still find a mess
I guess my minds infested with all types of traps
That’s when they might suggest you come inside for a minor test
Then they can finally assess and define it best
Put a light in your eyes move it right to left
Ask all types of questions bout your life’s events
I guess that I should let this guy who I just met decide if I’m depressed
Its fine that I’m inept in this kind of science tech
Cause he’s the wisest psychiatrist I have met, but what if I object
What if a lie’s detected in his eyes a bit
Does he get bribed? I know theres something he’s hiding man I’m convinced
So yes
I’m terrified to take a psych med
Is there a side effect I might get
Cause I’m embarrassed and shy to share that I’m sick
And my symptoms barely apply so where do I fit?
I quit
Who gives advice for this?
Who’s kept nice statistics and deciphered it?
Am I just slight depressed ?
Could I just light some incense and just write instead?
That could align my zen
Lets analyze the best method to fight this in
Before we start testing all types of mixed
Intense S.S.R.I.’s for kicks
Anti depressants just hide the life lessons you find when your kinda stressed
Cause one tablet by mouth twice daily is just a drug habit some clown prescribed vaguely but
what would it feel like
If you could just suddenly feel right
Could it be real or just a sugary pill
What would it reveal and whose footing the bill
Cause all these pharmaceuticals
Are doing more harm than usual


from 30 AWD YEARS, released April 4, 2022
Written by Awdbawl
Produced by Lost Lane
Recorded/Mixed/Mastered by Vallo at South Bay Sounds


all rights reserved



Awdbawl Gardena, California

Do you and loop it.
-Awdbawl Pawl

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